In the Moment | Valerie Koop » Photographs Captured

Apr 13 2013

{ at a loss }

xo.

Posted in Claire, Food

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Apr 06 2013

{ Soccer Season }

Best Quote of the Afternoon:

Good Thing this isn’t about winning, Mom. Because we really lost!

So we went out for nachos afterwards. It’s the only way to nurse a wound, you know.

XO.

(P.S. Taking orders for Eileen’s cookie dough if you want some. $12 for 3 pounds in a scoop container. It’s a wonder the woman doesn’t have her own franchise. Yummo!)

Posted in Caeden

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Apr 01 2013

{ this & that }

1. I have this portrait on canvas somewhere in storage. I miss that age!

I want to unpack. (Correction: I want to unpack with an army of hired help while I sip tea. It is clear I have been watching too much Downton Abby.)

2. My very first photography class was with Karen Russell. I respect her knowledge and the way she is able to break it down and teach it in manageable chunks.

And I adore her as a person. Her blog is one of my favorites because she has a blended family and the way she portrays them inspires me.

Anyway. She started sharing “what is working” in her household. She blogged about their allowance system (simple and effective and easy to keep track of), and more recently, how to pack for a trip. She has three kids that need entertained (and one away at college) and she talks about their “quarter” system. Each child gets a roll or two of quarters to spend (and that’s it… no more asking for money!) and they get one taken away for each bad behavior “moment.” I love a good parenting tid-bit. Sometimes it just takes hearing how someone else is doing it.

Her blog is here.

3. Learn how to make your pictures look better on Facebook (has to do with how they are compressed while uploading. Awful.) Click here.

4. Have you ever had Cookie Butter from Trader Joes? Mom and Dad are not allowed to come back from AZ unless they have it packed in their suitcase.

5. Heaviest for last.

Holding Claire back a year. She is academically ready for Kindergarten but not mature enough. I am trying to decide how she would be best served this year while we wait for her to catch up (she still needs a nap, has potty accidents, has a difficult time staying on task, but knows her academics inside and out). She has been in Pre-School for two years. Should I home school her since she doesn’t need as much academically (I can advance her myself) or should I place her in one so that she is socialized? I feel like play dates and ballet and swimming, etc. are good for social interaction, but mostly I am worried about my own sanity if she is home all day. But also, if I place her somewhere, she will be with kiddos much younger (3 and 4) while she turns 5 in May, and I am not sure I like anything about that.

Anyway. I’m sad for her. Disappointed. But I know in the long run this is best for her. The more I pay attention, the more I realize this is more common than I realized.

But still.

Posted in Claire, Fun Stuff

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suz12 - April 1, 2013 - 3:49 pm

On #5, don’t fret! Only you know what is best for your child, and from reading your blog, you know! We have several “high-5″ programs in our city. We took advantage for one of our three children. His birthday was too close to the cutoff, and he needed the extra time for maturity, not academics, like your daughter. Ours are usually affiliated with a church. They are usually 4-5 days per week, 1/2 day and specifically for that age of 5′ers that need more time. So she would be with kids her age, but still getting to socialize and getting to advance in her academics. Some of those kids will go to kindergarten reading! It was amazing, I highly recommend looking into it. My son is now in second grade, and we’ve never regretted our decision!

Remember when kindergarten was 1\2 day AND we had a rest break?

ERIKA - April 1, 2013 - 4:01 pm

We are in a similar boat with our son (turns 5 in june). I keep going round and round about whether to send him but I know in my gut that waiting would be the best for him. And I agree, I think a lot of parents with kids turning 5 right before school starts are making this choice so you will probably be surprised at how many other children will share this with Claire. Good luck with your decisions.

Ellie - April 1, 2013 - 4:06 pm

I have read your beautiful blog for several years and have never commented. But as a retired first grade teacher I need to reassure you that your decision to give Claire the extra time she needs is the greatest gift you could bestow upon her. I often heard from parents who took my advice and waited to place their child in Kindergarten when professional opinions and their “gut instinct” told them their child wasn’t ready. Those parents were always grateful and felt it had changed their child’s attitude and set them on a path to school success. On the other hand, I taught many precious little ones who struggled mightily to achieve skills that were determined to be necessary for progression to the next grade. If they had been given an extra year of time to mature, I can say with certainty, they would have been much more able to cope. Maturity changes children from followers to leaders! Claire will do well in a pre-school that has children slightly younger than she is because it will be an opportunity for her leadership skills to blossom. Someday, when your sweet Claire-bear graduates college or gets married, no-one will remember how old she was when she started Kindergarten. It simply won’t matter. It is so much easier to give her the time she needs now, than it would be to overcome the years of potential stress and feelings of failure she will encounter when trying to keep up to a pace she is not ready for. It has nothing to do with her intelligence…it is her maturity that is the issue. You are such a good mom, and this decision will be much harder for you than it will be for Claire. You are doing the right thing.

kate moran - April 1, 2013 - 5:19 pm

I made one of my biggest parent mistakes when I allowed my daughter to start before she was emotionally ready. Her brother is 2 1/2 years older and she wanted to go so bad. She was completely ready academically, and I gave in. Because of her birthday, she was always the baby of the class. By middle school, she was struggling socially. Then came the ADD diagnosis followed by the school psychologist’s suggestion to put her on medication. (We never went the medicine route, but worked really hard at helping her develop coping skills.) By high school, she hated school. I was so happy she stuck it out and graduated, but she dropped out of college during her second year. She is now 19 and at a loss to what she really wants to do. DO NOT make the same mistake. If I could change just one thing, hands down, it would be waiting an extra year before I sent her to school. The ripples from that one decision are felt to this day…..

Susan - April 1, 2013 - 7:05 pm

Annelies just turned 5 in Jan and she still has accidents too. Not allot, but enough to mortify me….heads up momma. Send her to kindergarten. She will rock it. Give her the wings to fly. Send her 3 full days and let her stay with her friends. Annelies doesn’t eat anything. That is my worry. What in gods name will I pack for my only picky child. Suggestions??

Bek - April 1, 2013 - 8:19 pm

I would give anything to homeschool my chicadees! To nurture and love and learn through experiences you have together. Baking cookies alone incorporates math, science, reading:) love your photos and blog!

Ellie - April 1, 2013 - 10:59 pm

We just went through this. Our perfect solution was a private kindergarten that had half day classes. She loved it, she took a nap each day when she got home and she still ended up in all day public kindergarten this year (but at least we were able to see where she fit best). I highly recommend this option if you have a. Hald day K that will work for you!

Good luck, it is a difficult decision!

xo ellie

Denise Weyer - April 2, 2013 - 6:12 am

I waited to send my oldest daughter when she started kindergarten, as she turned 5 in July, best decision I ever made! She to was academically ready, but still needing naps. As far as home school, I agree they need that socializing time, and you need you time while thay are away!!

Jamie - April 2, 2013 - 7:45 am

Our middle daughter has a November birthday (turned 5). The cut off date to start school in Kentucky is October 1. We laughed at the fact, that if she had been born before the cut off, she would not have been ready for school this year;) Academically, yes. But still takes a 3 hour nap most days. She is the oldest in preschool this year and has done great! She is the ‘leader’ and takes care of all of her friends. More power to you if you can home school! My nerves couldn’t handle it…I need my time alone 3 days a week;)

Carrie - April 2, 2013 - 10:42 am

My kids were able to go to half day kindergarten which was a great transition. There is also a 5 year old preschool class where my youngest goes to preschool. Either of those might be good options for you. Homeschool is also a great option. I bet you will love it! I have homeschooled my kids in the past, and there are definitely pros and cons, but it could be a really fun year for you two.

Jody - April 2, 2013 - 11:34 am

My daughter is a July birthday. We chose a half day private kindergarten program for her this year and plan to do public kindergarten full day next year. I know so many people who are choosing to put their kids into full day kindergarten at 6 years old. Bench marks are so high these days. I know we made the right choice for our girl. Be proud of your decision. Nothing to gain by putting them in too early, but such a benefit to start them older. Good luck.

Jesicca Kallas - April 2, 2013 - 4:51 pm

As for #5… my brother has a little one that was in the same boat (almost to a T). She was so excited to start when she turned 5 that my brother and his wife were concerned what it would do to her if she didn’t start. They met with the principal and his suggestion was that they put her in kindergarten, evaluate after the year and if neccessary repeat kindergarten. They signed her up and the following year she repeated it with another teacher. It was a success and my darling neice never felt excluded and actually did well both years! Cross your fingers, say a prayer and go with your gut!

Jessica - April 2, 2013 - 6:11 pm

I teach kindergarten, six year olds make awesome kindergarteners! Don’t worry about the academics… Emotional maturity matters SOOO much more. Enjoy your year with her, let her play! You won’t regret it, you are giving her the sweet gift of time. That gift sometimes gets lost in the busy classroom.

Tricia - April 3, 2013 - 10:35 am

We held my oldest back after 1st grade for academic/emotional reasons. To be clear, the emotional reasons were caused by the academic issues and a very unkind teacher/school system who were very difficult for her to deal with. It was such a hard decision. “She will always be a year older than her friends at birthdays.” “Will it do too much damage if it makes her think she’s ‘stupid’ in the future?” “She will be 19 when she graduates”. I loosely homeschooled her for one year. Mostly we worked on basic academic skills, and teaching her to love herself. We then moved to a new district and put her back in school (2nd grade) the following year. 5 years later, it was the best decision for her that we have ever made!!! She is still a bit behind academically (she has learning struggles, but we refuse to allow her to label herself/live as that label). She is the kindest, most considerate, giving girl that you could ask for. She has learned to ask for help when she needs it, but prefers to muscle through. Allowing her to “grow into herself” was the best thing that we could have done for her.

It will be the same for Claire, whichever you choose. But just remember that no one can love her and encourage her growth the way that you can. Whether you homeschool her or send her to a school program, just love her as you always do. Support her. Push her a bit, if necessary. She will find her way. They always do. And when we look back, we wonder why we ever feared so much. <3

xo*tricia

Shauna Oleson - April 3, 2013 - 7:10 pm

We are also waiting to start Kale in Kindergarten. It was a recommendation by his preschool teacher last year who has been teaching preschool for 30+ years. His teacher this year suggested we enroll him next year, but research suggests otherwise. Next year he will be in the preK program as a 5 year old. Tough parenting decision, but like you I know it is the right one for us.

Heather - April 10, 2013 - 7:34 pm

Give the professionals some credit if they are saying she’s not ready.

I know someone very well with an August birthday. Back in the day, people were worried about the stigma of “flunking pre-school,” and he struggled academically until the final years of college. I think school would have been a much, much different experience if he’d been held back in the beginning.

Jessie - April 17, 2013 - 9:35 pm

Three perspectives:

I’m a teacher and older is always better. Emotional maturity is huge. The academics are not as important in kindergarten.

I’m a mom of a kindergartner. She’s one of the oldest in her class. She was more than ready academically sooner (reading fluently, adding/subtracting, and the like), but she still struggles emotionally at 6. I can’t even imagine what would have happened had we started her last year.

I’m a kid that started too soon. I turned 5 Aug 16 and then started kindergarten a week later. It was awful. My memories of kindergarten were of me crying all.the.time. My parents held me back and I repeated kindergarten. I had no problem being the oldest kid and I don’t regret it for a second.