1. Claire leaped out of her crib yesterday. Hurt herself. I was at the dentist getting my teeth cleaned and I get a text from Wayne saying, “Get home as soon as you can.”
The feeling of NOT knowing how bad it was. If Wayne could climb the stairs to get to her. If she was REALLY hurt and he couldn’t carry her. Laying in that chair with my head whirling … needing to leave.
This brings me to the Matilda Jane trip. I am supposed to leave with Jami & Co. the 11th. But I cannot. It is at the point where I don’t want Wayne home with the kids for an extended period alone. Too much can happen and he is too tired/weak/vulnerable to handle the stress of both of them.
So. I am not going.
But in preparation for the shoot, I did hire a personal trainer to whip my butt into shape. Not letting him go. I figure money spent on him vs. therapy (ha) – I’ll take the endorphins and the flat stomach any day.
I have no pictures to share.
But I did overhear Caeden tell Claire this morning, “I love you – you will always be my princess …” And I thought, wow. I need to start writing this stuff down.
So here I am.
Pushing “publish” before I lose my nerve.
My nerve to tell you how sometimes, I am just barely holding on. And moving through my own house feeling lost and unfocused and … well, not myself.
We go to Houston next week to meet with his Oncologist.
Sounds like experimental protocols will be tried – BEFORE the holidays. We don’t think it can wait.
There it is.
But feeling like I am not.
Pushing the publish button …